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Chuck Norris...

hickman48

Knight
Re: Chuck Norris...

Sergesies;331156 said:
People need pixie dust to fly...
pixies need chuck norris dust to fly!

neaver heard that

chuck norris blood can cure canser to bad he neaver bleeds

under chuck norris beard is another fist

the only thing that keep hallys comit from hitting earth is chuck norris kick

bruse lee didnt win agens chuck norris he beat his stunt double
 

dxmfixation

Wanderer
Re: Chuck Norris...

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."

Maslow's theory of higher needs does not apply to Chuck Norris. He only has two needs: killing people and finding people to kill.

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease"

They were going to release a Chuck Norris edition of Clue, but the answer always turns out to be "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."

*a few of my favorites*
 

jrhather

Wanderer
Re: Chuck Norris...

Chuck Norris didn't lose his virginity, he hunted it down and roundhouse kicked it with extreme prejudice.

Chuck Norris wasn't born, he punched his way out of the womb.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.

Chuck Norris once ate fifteen 72oz steaks in an hour. He was having sex with the waitress for the first 45 minutes.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn't push UP, he pushes the Earth DOWN.
 

Jimmij

Wanderer
Re: Chuck Norris...

i hate chuck norris hes way to popular... and the worst part about it is i saw a shirt that said "Theres nothing to fear but Chuck himself"......
 

Sergesies

Wanderer
Re: Chuck Norris...

Jimmij;331994 said:
i hate chuck norris hes way to popular... and the worst part about it is i saw a shirt that said "Theres nothing to fear but Chuck himself"......


*gasp* GO AWAY JIMMIJ STAY OUT OF CHUCK NORRIS' THREAD >=(


Chuck norris kicked 2 guys while drinking mountain dew HE DRANK MY 2nd FAVORITE SODA :>
 
Re: Chuck Norris...

God is described as the Alpha and the Omega. That's because it's Chuck Norris' Secret Code Name.

Chaos Theory says, that a butterfly's wings can cause tsunamis on the other side of the world. When Chuck Norris blinks, Galaxies implode.

Chuck Norris is unaffected by drinking Orange juice after brushing his teeth.

Attempts were made to Clone Chuck Norris, all failed. Rather than the normal G,A,T and C amino acids which make up normal DNA, Chuck's DNA Consisted of the letters: P,W,N and D. All subsiquent failures were then dubbed as such.
 

jrhather

Wanderer
Re: Chuck Norris...

  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
  • Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
  • When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
  • Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
  • Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
  • Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  • Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
  • Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
 
Re: Chuck Norris...

Chuck Norris doesnt need oxygen. Oxygen needs Chuck Norris.

Once, Chuck Norris farted. Then the dinosaurs were extincted.

The main reason for life is Chuck Norris.

There wasnt a Big Bang. There was Chuck Norris.

Tsunamis are the results of Chuck Norris swiming.

Ducks dont migrate, they flee from Chuck Norris.

The immortal gods of the Olimpo died of Chuck Norris.
 

DROGADICTO

Sorceror
Re: Chuck Norris...

When asked why Guinness Book wasn't accepting any of his records, Chuck Norris answered:

"Obviously they want to keep the book as a single volume."
 
Re: Chuck Norris...

If Chuck Norris ever decide to do a Chuck Norris joke, the world will be divided by zero.

(OMG Double-meme full on all the way across the forum! What does it mean?)
 

bacchus1234

Sorceror
Re: Chuck Norris...

In the beginning, there was darkness... then Chuck Norris opened his eyes.

Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick in space. We now call it "the big bang."

Dead people see Chuck Norris.

Ghosts are dead people that Chuck Norris has not roundhouse kicked, again.


Incidentally, Bruce Lee was a teacher and a movie star that did not fight in tournaments. Chuck Norris was a martial arts fighter that did movies.
 
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