The help K out thread....

[kaervek-hybrid]

The help K out thread....

So I quit uog forawhile to try to win back the girl I love....

and it didn't work... and K needs advice... you can flame me if you want I don't mind...

She hid her problems and ignored them, about shit between us, and rather than ever come to me...she just let us die.. it sounds like a generic shitty relationship n all.. but i was ready to marry this girl, in a second.... She was everything I ever wanted... beautiful in all possible ways. So she threw me away after 3 years... without ever trying to fix or save out relationship.

I don't know what to do... I've watched the single most important part of my life die in the last 7 days, and nothing I could do or say could save it... I wrote a song and LEARNED GUITAR to play it for her... that's how much I love this girl.. that's how sad I am irl lol....

so uog... you know I <3 you guys...what should I do? I thought I was in love several times... but nothing ever hurt like this. This is killing me... and there's no wandering healer by my house irl....

my options are
1) be friends with her... she is ok with this, but it KILLS me to keep her at arm's length... and I'm not sure if I can deal with that for any length of time... I'm willing to submit myself to a shitty existance like that just to not lose her completely (as sad as that is)

or

2) tell her to fuck off and try my best to not talk to her again.... which I don't think I can hold myself to...it's like I hate her for what she did.. but at the same time I love her... this one would be a lot harder for me than the other. The thought of losing her completely from my life terrifies me.

I don't have a clue what to do, It's like I'm having a complete meltdown...

any thoughts would be much appreciated by me....

 

[BrandT]

Well, from similar experience, I would say to not go the 'friends' route. It hurts too damn much to have someone that you care about so much just be there with no prospects at going somewhere.

It's my opinion that you should find the strenght to cut her off.

 

[Punkers Slave]

Well, from similar experience, I would say to not go the 'friends' route. It hurts too damn much to have someone that you care about so much just be there with no prospects at going somewhere.

It's my opinion that you should find the strenght to cut her off.

Yes, option 2 is the better one. Sometime you just have to say, "What the fuck?!", and move on. Shit happens. Here's another cheap phrase for you, "There's plenty of fish in the sea".

Think of it this way, it just wasen't meant to be. It's better that it happened now and not 3 years into, what you would have thought to be, a good marriage.

 

[fierywater-hybrid]

Option 2. Friends doesn't work.

 

[Ataris]

sounds like you need some cheap lovin! get a good ho for the night!

 

[Mike-hybrid]

So I quit uog forawhile to try to win back the girl I love....

and it didn't work... and K needs advice... you can flame me if you want I don't mind...

She hid her problems and ignored them, about shit between us, and rather than ever come to me...she just let us die.. it sounds like a generic shitty relationship n all.. but i was ready to marry this girl, in a second.... She was everything I ever wanted... beautiful in all possible ways. So she threw me away after 3 years... without ever trying to fix or save out relationship.

I don't know what to do... I've watched the single most important part of my life die in the last 7 days, and nothing I could do or say could save it... I wrote a song and LEARNED GUITAR to play it for her... that's how much I love this girl.. that's how sad I am irl lol....

so uog... you know I <3 you guys...what should I do? I thought I was in love several times... but nothing ever hurt like this. This is killing me... and there's no wandering healer by my house irl....

my options are
1) be friends with her... she is ok with this, but it KILLS me to keep her at arm's length... and I'm not sure if I can deal with that for any length of time... I'm willing to submit myself to a shitty existance like that just to not lose her completely (as sad as that is)

or

2) tell her to fuck off and try my best to not talk to her again.... which I don't think I can hold myself to...it's like I hate her for what she did.. but at the same time I love her... this one would be a lot harder for me than the other. The thought of losing her completely from my life terrifies me.

I don't have a clue what to do, It's like I'm having a complete meltdown...

any thoughts would be much appreciated by me....

Get her back. You obviously truly love this girl. Dont give up until you hear from her lips "I dont love you, and marriage to you is not what I want".

Go to her now, and tell her your thoughts, not in some lame song, not in some lame poem, tell her from the heart, face to face.

If that doesnt work, its time to move on. One day the right person will come into your life.

 

[Gertkane]

you obviously love her, the friends thing wont work until you can totally cut off your feelings. Someone told me, if you think somethign is yours, let it go, if it comes back its yours, if it doesnt, it never was.

 

[Afro Man]

you obviously love her, the friends thing wont work until you can totally cut off your feelings. Someone told me, if you think somethign is yours, let it go, if it comes back its yours, if it doesnt, it never was.

You can't control your feelings so how do you figure he can "cut them off"? If he feels so strongly about her take Mikes advice and keep on trying until you know there is no hope.

Your friend that said "If you think something is yours, let it go, if it comes back its yours, if it doesn't it never was." Well as far as I can see without even knowing the guy he's never been in a serious relationship. The best thing you can do is follow your heart and since she is the girl you love go after her. If you let her go now there's no telling of what could've been so you've got to chase what you want. Express yourself to her like you did on the forums, let her know you're crazy about her and if she doesn't feel the same way, atleast you know you gave it a shot.

 

[Don Pablo Rico]

mike, afro.... if i ever need advice im coming to your asses your fellas posts touched me where only moonshine can


it burnt a whole right to my soul

 

[kaervek-hybrid]

<3 all u r33t %$#^#$^'s

thanks all for the thoughts.... i really appreciate it. I've so far tried all I can think of trying.. so it looks like I may have to go with option 2.

and yes I have been in serious relationships before this one, just never one that meant as much. This one was perfect.... until she tore my heart out and stepped on it...

 

[Namdrahsirhc]

yo Kaervek, Chris Hardman here. Sorry to hear shit didnt work out man. In my opinion, having been in a relationship myself for 2 years, is to go with option number 2. As much as it hurts, if you've tried everything and she still doesnt want to hear it then fuck 'er. I could never be friends with the girl im involved with now, no fuckin way. You dont want to be that guy that got the pity friendship. Peace

 

[BrandT]

thanks all for the thoughts.... i really appreciate it. I've so far tried all I can think of trying.. so it looks like I may have to go with option 2.

and yes I have been in serious relationships before this one, just never one that meant as much. This one was perfect.... until she tore my heart out and stepped on it...

The reason I'm saying what I said is that I was in a very veyr similar situation. I tried to get her back, only to have her do the same nonsense. Then after the second time she had the audacity to ask me to remain friends again. What she wanted was to have a chance to go out and have fun but when she got lonely she would have something to fall back on. That is what it seems to me that this girl wants...

 

[kaervek-hybrid]

Yeah Brandt u may be right...

Well... I threw in the towel today and gave up. I fought as hard as I could till the bitter end to fix things. I have no regrets, to me it was worth trying to save. The only thing that hurts was the one person I trusted most betrayed me and lead me on... That shit hurts.... we had even planned the honeymoon. Women are horrible...

so I had to go with #2..... trying as hard as I can to stick to it...

I wish I had the time to get on uo N' PK away the pain one count at a time...


hopefully soon.

and thanks everyone for your advice, it meant alot to me

 

[Gertkane]

You can't control your feelings so how do you figure he can "cut them off"? If he feels so strongly about her take Mikes advice and keep on trying until you know there is no hope.

Your friend that said "If you think something is yours, let it go, if it comes back its yours, if it doesn't it never was." Well as far as I can see without even knowing the guy he's never been in a serious relationship. The best thing you can do is follow your heart and since she is the girl you love go after her. If you let her go now there's no telling of what could've been so you've got to chase what you want. Express yourself to her like you did on the forums, let her know you're crazy about her and if she doesn't feel the same way, atleast you know you gave it a shot.

well you missed my point, you should express feelings but you shouldnt start bugging her, anyway kaervek got his thing kinda solved so lets just let it go

 

[Afro Man]

Yea, heartache sucks but it is part of life. Everyone goes through it, just some take it better then others. I think Kaervek is taking it quite well. After all he's been through not many people could just say. "Hey, I tried now I gotta move on."

I commend you.

 

[terathan33]

You better off with out her. No reason you should cry over someone who wouldn't cry over you. Your better off with out her imo. Also be happy you didn't marry her only to have this happen ten years from now.

 

[BrandT]

You better off with out her. No reason you should cry over someone who wouldn't cry over you. Your better off with out her imo. Also be happy you didn't marry her only to have this happen ten years from now.

Well said.

 

[Cebrious Arcane-hybrid]

Live your life bro. No matter what happens, know that life goes on, and whether you want to label the experiences as good, or bad, they're still just experiences, and those experiences are what composes life. So just live it. Make a decision and never look back. I was where you are about a year ago and all I did was wallow in confusion. I put it all out on the table, everything, holding nothing back, and it was from her reaction that I knew she didn't feel the way about me that I felt about her, and it's that confirmation that made walking away effortless, instead of the most difficult step in my life. Your situation sounds very similar to mine so my only advice would be to live your life, and make the choices when you have the opportunity; rather than being a controlled person, be the controlling person, and not in the over-protective "This is mine!" sense but in the sense of a man that has complete control of every aspect of his life. Then it doesn't matter how many woman you meet, and how many you fall in love with, or how many just don't give a fuck about you the way you do about them, because the core of it all, you, is a rock solid foundation, of which nothing could shake.

Neither choice can affect you unless you let it. Make your decision and run with it.

 

[Afro Man]

Live your life bro. No matter what happens, know that life goes on, and whether you want to label the experiences as good, or bad, they're still just experiences, and those experiences are what composes life. So just live it. Make a decision and never look back. I was where you are about a year ago and all I did was wallow in confusion. I put it all out on the table, everything, holding nothing back, and it was from her reaction that I knew she didn't feel the way about me that I felt about her, and it's that confirmation that made walking away effortless, instead of the most difficult step in my life. Your situation sounds very similar to mine so my only advice would be to live your life, and make the choices when you have the opportunity; rather than being a controlled person, be the controlling person, and not in the over-protective "This is mine!" sense but in the sense of a man that has complete control of every aspect of his life. Then it doesn't matter how many woman you meet, and how many you fall in love with, or how many just don't give a fuck about you the way you do about them, because the core of it all, you, is a rock solid foundation, of which nothing could shake.

Neither choice can affect you unless you let it. Make your decision and run with it.

God damn that was well said... You should write a book. no jokes

 

[jmaster]

option 3) Rape!