Tom The Turkey
Turkey:
1 : a large No. American gallinaceous bird (Meleagris gallopavo) that is domesticated in most parts of the world
2 : FAILURE, FLOP; especially : a theatrical production that has failed
3 : three successive strikes in bowling
4 : a stupid, foolish, or inept person
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tom The Turkey,
Or What Happened To The Cornbread?
It happened the day of the yearly feast at the Castle,
one day only, all Britians could enter without hassle.
Despite my unwillingness to pledge an oath to serve my city,
I could walk though the halls without looking silly.
There at the fest they had all sorts of pleasure,
roasted turkey, grape wine, apple cider, whipped yam,
but it was the cornbread i pinched as my treasure.
Of all i had, the cornbread even beat the glazed ham!
I sunned underneath a large tree,
careful I was so no one would see.
Danger was all about the fields,
lethal murderers with strong weapons and stronger shields.
After such a great fest and indulging as I had,
(you see i enjoyed good ale and cider)
i never expected something to go so bad
(especially since I'm a expert hider)
Passing by the moment I hiccuped,
was someone who would do more than a stickup!
Terrible Tom and his villainous raiders,
in evil so deep they needed waders!
Tom sought to cast me out of this world in a ball of fire,
I sprang to my feet as fast as i could.
One moment i was napping now my situation was dire,
but once I made distance, to the shadows I would.
As fast as i moved he could still see!
So i called on the teaching of my Great Uncle Lee.
I transformed myself so that i could move faster.
Once i was hidden, he was a useless caster!
Stealthy as I was I made my way back,
to see if there was anything i liked in his pack.
But at that moment once more,
my belly chirped in with more than a roar.
He yelled with abundance “There you are sneaky!”
But i hid as he told me he'd make my body leaky.
And hence he commenced to tell of HIS town,
whence people like me make him frown.
He told me to go back to where I belong,
where the guards prevent anything done wrong.
He told me to stay meant surely I'd die,
then any could take from where my corps lie!
Banding my burns (and one cut from his henchman),
I mustard the strength to convey I was no fan.
“You think this is your land?
All here at your command!?!
I pick my first pocket under that tree,
when none was the wiser except, well, me!
Side that house I met my first grandmaster!
Along this here road, I learned to run faster!
How dare you tell me to leave my own town!
You are the one who makes me frown!”
Hearing my rebuttal he mustered a chuckle,
“And now”, he said, “I'll make your knees buckle!”
But since i was already hiding,
there would be no fighting.
(You think I'm so silly?
To be prancing nilly-wily?
Surely he could kill me,
if once more he would see me.)
Quietly I listened as he grumbled to his fellows:
Fire he would set to me for “roasting marshmallows”!
Fever had risen to the top of my hat!
He was less substance than the magic llama on which he sat!
Once more I'd say my part,
then to the gate I would dart!
“Right then when you saw me I had just eaten lunch,
you would have never saw me if I hadn't indulged in the punch!”
“So its mercy you want for being such a poor lurkey!
Is none but your own fault you stuffed yourself like a turkey!”
Being quick with wit I just had to say,
“How dare you, Sir! The worst I've heard all day!”
No harm to me with the guards so near,
“I do not stuff cornbread up my rear!”
Laughter arose for the crowd which had gathered,
including his henchmen, around him they blabbered.
To dense he was to quickly understand
why it was laughter arose from his band!
Once he realized how he'd been beaten,
He exclaimed with a roar “I'll get you, cretin!”
All of a sudden I saw nothing but flame!
Quickly a spectator pointed the blame.
“Guards do you see what this villain is doing!
Kill him now or she will be suing!”
In need of a bandage sorely was I,
so crispy i was others helped me heal.
People asked me “What was that?” and “Why?”
Deep in my pack no bandage I could feel.
In all of my digging,
my cornbread hit the ground.
Sweeping it up grinning,
the guard made it clear it was “turkey bound”.
“What does he mean?”I asked a fellow there.
When I turned the cornbread was missing and the guard said, “fair's fair!”
Turkey:
1 : a large No. American gallinaceous bird (Meleagris gallopavo) that is domesticated in most parts of the world
2 : FAILURE, FLOP; especially : a theatrical production that has failed
3 : three successive strikes in bowling
4 : a stupid, foolish, or inept person
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tom The Turkey,
Or What Happened To The Cornbread?
It happened the day of the yearly feast at the Castle,
one day only, all Britians could enter without hassle.
Despite my unwillingness to pledge an oath to serve my city,
I could walk though the halls without looking silly.
There at the fest they had all sorts of pleasure,
roasted turkey, grape wine, apple cider, whipped yam,
but it was the cornbread i pinched as my treasure.
Of all i had, the cornbread even beat the glazed ham!
I sunned underneath a large tree,
careful I was so no one would see.
Danger was all about the fields,
lethal murderers with strong weapons and stronger shields.
After such a great fest and indulging as I had,
(you see i enjoyed good ale and cider)
i never expected something to go so bad
(especially since I'm a expert hider)
Passing by the moment I hiccuped,
was someone who would do more than a stickup!
Terrible Tom and his villainous raiders,
in evil so deep they needed waders!
Tom sought to cast me out of this world in a ball of fire,
I sprang to my feet as fast as i could.
One moment i was napping now my situation was dire,
but once I made distance, to the shadows I would.
As fast as i moved he could still see!
So i called on the teaching of my Great Uncle Lee.
I transformed myself so that i could move faster.
Once i was hidden, he was a useless caster!
Stealthy as I was I made my way back,
to see if there was anything i liked in his pack.
But at that moment once more,
my belly chirped in with more than a roar.
He yelled with abundance “There you are sneaky!”
But i hid as he told me he'd make my body leaky.
And hence he commenced to tell of HIS town,
whence people like me make him frown.
He told me to go back to where I belong,
where the guards prevent anything done wrong.
He told me to stay meant surely I'd die,
then any could take from where my corps lie!
Banding my burns (and one cut from his henchman),
I mustard the strength to convey I was no fan.
“You think this is your land?
All here at your command!?!
I pick my first pocket under that tree,
when none was the wiser except, well, me!
Side that house I met my first grandmaster!
Along this here road, I learned to run faster!
How dare you tell me to leave my own town!
You are the one who makes me frown!”
Hearing my rebuttal he mustered a chuckle,
“And now”, he said, “I'll make your knees buckle!”
But since i was already hiding,
there would be no fighting.
(You think I'm so silly?
To be prancing nilly-wily?
Surely he could kill me,
if once more he would see me.)
Quietly I listened as he grumbled to his fellows:
Fire he would set to me for “roasting marshmallows”!
Fever had risen to the top of my hat!
He was less substance than the magic llama on which he sat!
Once more I'd say my part,
then to the gate I would dart!
“Right then when you saw me I had just eaten lunch,
you would have never saw me if I hadn't indulged in the punch!”
“So its mercy you want for being such a poor lurkey!
Is none but your own fault you stuffed yourself like a turkey!”
Being quick with wit I just had to say,
“How dare you, Sir! The worst I've heard all day!”
No harm to me with the guards so near,
“I do not stuff cornbread up my rear!”
Laughter arose for the crowd which had gathered,
including his henchmen, around him they blabbered.
To dense he was to quickly understand
why it was laughter arose from his band!
Once he realized how he'd been beaten,
He exclaimed with a roar “I'll get you, cretin!”
All of a sudden I saw nothing but flame!
Quickly a spectator pointed the blame.
“Guards do you see what this villain is doing!
Kill him now or she will be suing!”
In need of a bandage sorely was I,
so crispy i was others helped me heal.
People asked me “What was that?” and “Why?”
Deep in my pack no bandage I could feel.
In all of my digging,
my cornbread hit the ground.
Sweeping it up grinning,
the guard made it clear it was “turkey bound”.
“What does he mean?”I asked a fellow there.
When I turned the cornbread was missing and the guard said, “fair's fair!”