Hillbilly Homer
Page
You Know You're from the Missouri hills If:
1. Everyone you know has been on a "Float trip"
2. "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Branson, or Six Flags.
3. You can field dress a deer innless thin five mints.
4. Down south to you means Arkansas.
5. You know 30 or more people who have hit a deer in the last year
6. You think Missouri is spelled with an "ah" at the end.
7. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
8. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
9. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July
10. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
11. You carry 22. 06. and a 12ga in the truck to pick up supper on the way home.
12. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
13. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
14. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
15. You carry jumper cables in your car and know thateveryone else should.
16. You went to skating parties as a kid.
17. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
18. The local paper covers national and internationalheadlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
19. You think that deer season is a national holiday
20. You get out of school for deer season.
21. You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
22. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
23. You know if another Missourian is from the bootheel, ozarks, eastern, middle or western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.
24. You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor
25. You know what "HOME OF THE THROWED ROLLS' means!!!
26. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
27. You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is
28. You think "frog gigging" should be an Olympic sport.
29. You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
30. There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
31. The local gas station sells live bait.
1. Everyone you know has been on a "Float trip"
2. "Vacation" means driving to Silver Dollar City, Branson, or Six Flags.
3. You can field dress a deer innless thin five mints.
4. Down south to you means Arkansas.
5. You know 30 or more people who have hit a deer in the last year
6. You think Missouri is spelled with an "ah" at the end.
7. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
8. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
9. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July
10. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
11. You carry 22. 06. and a 12ga in the truck to pick up supper on the way home.
12. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
13. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.
14. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
15. You carry jumper cables in your car and know thateveryone else should.
16. You went to skating parties as a kid.
17. You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
18. The local paper covers national and internationalheadlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
19. You think that deer season is a national holiday
20. You get out of school for deer season.
21. You can't think of anything better than sitting on the porch in the middle of the summer during a thunderstorm.
22. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
23. You know if another Missourian is from the bootheel, ozarks, eastern, middle or western Missouri soon as they open their mouth.
24. You think a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor
25. You know what "HOME OF THE THROWED ROLLS' means!!!
26. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
27. You know what "cow tipping" or "Possum Kicking" is
28. You think "frog gigging" should be an Olympic sport.
29. You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
30. There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
31. The local gas station sells live bait.